Some husbands work at jobs their wives know little about, but Troy has always served in roles that I both partner in, but can also sometimes scrutinize: Our early days going to seminary classes together-- preparing for a life overseas, then His work as a youth pastor, then a church planter, then as the headmaster of the school we worked to found together. It is the greatest privilege to work and serve so closely next to my husband, but along with raising six boys, the partnership and proximity can also be a strain that must be in balance. For those of you who work alongside your spouse, you understand this.
I have undoubtedly at times, chosen to nit-pick and not encourage...
...micro-manage, and not submit...
...blame, and not bless...
...worry, and not pray...
...control, and not trust...
...keep record of wrongs, and not recall the good.
And we wives sometimes think we will be happier by making sure he does it the way we would. We sometimes inadvertently prevent God's work in and through our husbands when we think we are protecting, and prescribing what seems right in our own eyes.
But, we are called to help, not hinder.
And oh, how much happier is my heart when I bless and lift up...encourage and strengthen. How much happier I am when I cultivate a memory of the good.
So today, I'm remembering: He was my pastor for almost seven years and I'd never felt so shepherded at home. And now, he's my headmaster at the school, but continues to bless me with his humble and persevering leadership there and in the raising up of these six man cubs at home.
Do you want a tender love for your husband, dear friend? Do you want to know the secret to the phileo love we read about in Titus 2? Tender love flourishes when we wives keep record of the good rather than the yet to be improved in our husbands. Be patient, but start keeping a record today...of all the undeserved blessings of a spouse-- who is being transformed day by day.
Because of grace,
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