I am really tired today. After a fairly productive morning of homeschool, I ventured to Target for lunch with three boys and my very pregnant belly. It was to be a special treat for all of us. I envisioned fun times of stocking up on household supplies while sipping on Icees and munching bags of popcorn. I pictured three happy boys and a momma glad to be out on a crisp fall day. And yet, it was not so. Lunch ended up mostly on my clean shirt. Icees proved to be too much sugar. And while the two big boys were content and obedient, little Judah made up for all the compliant toddlers in the store, and whined and fussed the entire trip around Target, crying to either get out of the cart or open all items to be purchased. It is so hard to make a decision, compare prices, or to even think sometimes! Amazingly, I won the battle today, gently (as calmly as I could be without sinning!) coercing my toddler to stay seated until the shopping trip came to an end. I'm sure my perspective was tainted by late-preganancy, little sleep, and my continual sinus troubles...but for all the comments from strangers about how sweet the kids are, or how well I look at 9 mos., I still felt deflated with discouragement.
I drove home tempted to feel self-pity or anxiety over the eminent arrival of yet, another little boy. As I prayed for perspective and godliness in attitude, the boys quieted down in the back seat over a game of patty-cake, led out by my eldest. If you know Caleb, you know he is way beyond patty-cake...and yet, he sweetly entertained his four and two-yr. old brothers all the way home with the silly nursery rhyme. I was blessed, and my perspective shifted.
I wanted to share this before posting some sweet pictures of us at the pumpkin patch. Photos often capture us at our best--our most hopeful, pleasant, relaxed, memorable moments. And yet, those moments are ephemeral at best, and do not last as anchors for joy and contentment. The reality, in my life at least, is that motherhood is amazing, children are a joy...but a godly perspective is one that I must fight for and sustain through truth. So...while the crisp October air casts a beautiful glow across a field of deeply hued pumpkins, I am reminded that He who effortlessly causes creation to sing his praises is also the One who gives me new lenses through which I can view all things in my life--glum or glorious.
