I was recently asked this question by a new friend while out on a coffee date:
"As a homeschooling mom of five, how do you find time to spend in the Word?"
I shared how every couple years, when I'm not pregnant or nursing through the night, I find myself going back to the 5:45 club, and that on the off years, it is a struggle that ultimately employs the use of audio Bibles, family worship, and creatively squeezing in time with the Lord throughout the day.
But ultimately, aside from the different tips and scheduling helps one can employ, this is what's really at the heart of finding time:
"You know," I said, "it's ultimately not an issue of time, but an issue of desire."
You see, I'm convinced we determine what we have time for based on our appetites.
I clearly feel the pinch for time. I am terribly aware that this season of motherhood is a fight for leisure time and personal time, not to mention time to simply think. And yet, in honesty, we make time for what is important to us. I rarely fail to eat when I'm hungry, I always make time to check my email, and I even make time for blogging and artistic endeavors. Don't we seem to make time for things we desire?
Desire. Desire steers the ship and fuels the engine. A desire fueled by ambition propels one forward, a desire fueled by fear holds one back. Either way, desire determines our pursuits, our priorities, our capacity.
“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” -C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory
Could it be that it is challenging for us to find time to feast on the Word of God because we simply desire other things too much...and expect too little from God and His Word?
Is it that we don't have time for intimacy with God, or that we don't desire it enough? How easy it is to fill up the empty voids and little excesses of time and energy with meager crumbs...quick and accessible pleasures that don't satisfy.
Sometimes those crumbs are idle, filling our minds and time with little more than cheap entertainment and useless information. Surfing the internet? Television? What empty calories these crumbs can be.
Sometimes those crumbs are idols, pursuits that make us slaves to our own ideas of perfection and security. My desire for a clean house can be one of these idols that serve as an excuse for lack of time.
In both the idle and the idols, our desires are misplaced and ultimately, paltry at best.
How do we desire MORE? How do we increase our appetite? How do we long for a satisfying meal and not merely crumbs from the Lord's table?
"Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!" -Psalm 34:8
We grow our appetite by tasting how truly satisfying He is. Our Lord is all-worthy and all-satisfying. We need but to avail ourselves of His plenty.
Have you been desirous of too little, friend? I know I have.
I've come to the table expecting a quick snack, and looked to other things to satisfy the tummy. I've come to the table esteeming Him to be less than He is, and made much of myself and my own provisions.
It may not be time that you lack today, but desire. Let Him increase your desire with Himself...and we may find that time aplenty will follow.
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