I Could Play The Background

September 24, 2014

So much is happening day by day here in my little life. Change is in the air. I'm always a bit unsure as to what is meaningful to share and what isn't. I want this place, this blog, to be about Christ, and not truly about me, my family, or my artwork. But at the same time, there is real living happening in the background here in the Simons household, and I am nothing if not brutally honest...

We are packing up the only home any of my boys have ever really known. And I am both elated and deeply sad. Follow me on Instagram for the daily updates...

I am homeschooling with half my wits intact, surviving my home days schooling 4 boys with 2 littles underfoot. Surviving but not thriving in this season of life, and am reminded to not be myopic in my vision of motherhood...

We're fighting, confessing, forgiving, weeping, yelling, and wrapping our arms around one another day by day. I have a tween. And a one year old. And everything in between. Enough said...

We are celebrating this thing I rarely talk about, this amazing thing that we are founders of-- Oak Grove Classical Academy-- in our 7th year with 240 student. And now, as of this week, in contract for the purchase and build out of our permanent home. It has been a long and arduous labor of love...and continues to be. It's a much bigger dream we ever thought possible or imagined to be a part of...

We are also celebrating and learning how to run my business...this small offering of artwork in the form of a shoppe last November, that has grown so big...and tonight, reached a landmark of 1000 sales. That number represents how many times I've had the privilege of delivering grace in a tangible way from my heart and home to another's around the globe. The growth has not been without cost. And I am working to steward it wisely. It's truly unbelievable to me. And I am grateful...

And yet, we are wrestling with what it is to be called to more than you could've chosen for yourself, and yet feel less capable than you deem necessary for the tasks at hand...

I wrote to each of my children's teachers this year, and apologized for being completely overwhelmed and flaky. I didn't have all the right books ordered. I don't always get all our assignments completed on home days. I'm not where I want to be and yet exactly where the Lord has me in order for me to know humility...

We are listening to the time and rhythm required to dance in step in marriage. It is hard work...

Our family's known relational hurt in this season. We've been wounded, bruised, disappointed and let-down...but have also been shown more incredible favor, grace, generosity, and kindness...

In short...We are a beautifully broken mess of a story that is fully written, but partially revealed. We are in the hands of a sovereign and loving God who is requiring (mercifully) for us to trust Him at every turn, because we have no resources like God's resources...

You see...what I really want you to know is not all that we are accomplishing or not accomplishing in our family. NO...what I think what's on my heart is really this:

Whether you are currently living the highlight reel or the most forgettable moments of your life, there is very little difference in what weighs you down and what ultimately gives you hope in either season. There will never be a time when relationships are not messy, when our own kingdom doesn't threaten to eclipse all else, and  when everything required of us is more than everything we think we've got. 

Let's just face it, and stop waiting for the dust to settle to settle and submit our hearts on His faithfulness and sovereignty in all things. 

Because God...He is in the business of redeeming and reconciling, He makes the faithless faithful and the worthless worthy...and he make possible all that feels impossible this day. And, he chooses when to bless and when to take away. 

Friends, there's little room for us to set our hearts on what we've accomplished...or what we can't even begin to overcome. The course is always the same...

In the day of my trouble I call upon you,
    for you answer me.
There is none like you among the gods, O Lord,
    nor are there any works like yours.
All the nations you have made shall come
    and worship before you, O Lord,
    and shall glorify your name.
For you are great and do wondrous things;
    you alone are God.
Teach me your way, O Lord,
    that I may walk in your truth;
    unite my heart to fear your name.
I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart,
    and I will glorify your name forever.

-Psalm 86:7-12

Let's settle that in our hearts today: Listen to His Word, walk in truth, remain in him, bow before him in our hearts, and praise him with thanksgiving.

Everything else is just background.


Because of grace,

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