I'm far too self-aware to act like a perfectionist-- everyone knows that perfectionism is outdated, unachievable, and uptight these days. We are the generation of the imperfect, the handmade, the authentic. We are those who embrace being a mess. No one tries to act like they have it all together anymore. It's not fashionable. Right? I'm not so sure. Not after the way I've been acting lately--the realities of my honest expectations laid to bare before my own family, those who know me best:
The house isn't clean enough. The kids aren't following through enough. We're not organized enough. The chores are being done well enough. I'm not prepared enough. We don't talk enough. You don't understand my needs enough. I don't love the Lord enough.
Maybe perfectionism doesn't come in Martha Stewart or Pinterest packaging. Perhaps it isn't as easy to spot as pedantically holding fast to the schedule or folding a set of sheets just so. It may not look like pristinely starched and pressed dress shirts and cute bows on your little girl's neatly coiffed pigtails. Maybe when it doesn't look like this in our lives, we think ourselves out of the woods. We think ourselves too cool for perfectionism.
But I think the truth is this: Perfectionism has nothing to do with what perfection actually looks like, but everything to do with the elusive idea of "enough."
Sadly, these are questions I cringe to answer, as they reveal a heart that is struggles to rest in the enough. They reveal that I pursue my own version of perfection every day.
But when His Word is clear:
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9:8)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence (2 Peter 1:3)
...I am reminded that Christ declared himself ENOUGH. That if there is a striving to know more, be more, have more, or experience more...it is to be LESS in Him in exchange for MORE of Him.
When I am sinfully discontent and difficult to please, when I am worshiping my idea of enough and not God's, I make myself the definition of perfection instead of fixing my eyes on the author and perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2), Himself.
So, here is my desire today: That I might not consider myself in the light of whether my expectations are reasonable or not. My feelings and comparisons to others is simply not reliable. Instead, I pray that I might look to how fully enough Christ is in the midst of my needs, my anxieties, my expectations in the day to day. His Grace is not merely sufficient for salvation, but for everything we experience in our life in Christ. It is a life of enough...as He reveals it.
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